Colts, Redskins to play Rock, Paper, Scissors for Andrew Luck

The rapidly approaching 2012 NFL Draft could not be more dissected with seemingly two number one overall picks available in Andrew Luck of Stanford and Robert Griffin III of Baylor. The Colts are simply exhausted of being nagged by executives to “hurry up and make a decision.” After being hounded and harrassed about which “sure thing” QB the Colts will select, they have decided to take the easy road out by proposing an old fashioned rock, paper, scissors duel in order for the media to “just leave us alone already,” according to Jim Irsay. Irsay declined further comment, leaving with a poorly articulated, unrelated, Dierks Bentley lyric which he later tweeted. With all the flack that the Colts’ organization has been receiving after cutting Peyton Manning before he was due a huge roster bonus, they could not afford to deal with another media firestorm like choosing the wrong prospect. “This really gives us something to fall back on if the guy we end up with starts to play really shitty,” said newly appointed head coach Chuck Pagano. “You know, we can only blame ourselves if we actually make the decision on our own,” he continues. As most people well know, the Colts have not been responsible for making a decision since 1998 when Manning was drafted No. 1 overall as their QB, offensive coordinator, and head coach. A poll run strictly in Indianapolis revealed that residents didn’t really care about last season, because they could just blame it all on Peyton being hurt. This decision to leave the fate of their organization up to chance is certainly one of the most questionable moves in NFL history. But hey, there are two No. 1 overall picks in the draft this year, aren’t there?

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